In the south part of India, Winters are a description of a very pleasant weather without any trace of humidity, we neither have to wear woolens to keep ourselves warm, nor casual attires of the summers to prevent a heatstroke. It is one of those time of the year, where one could enjoy the weather in all its entirety.
South Indian winters are one such in which nature is tamed and everything in moderation.
On one such cozy not so warm and not so chilled afternoon, I was busy taking stock of the revenues, calculating taxes and planning next marketing campaigns. Honestly, this is not what I actually enjoy about my work, however it is an inevitable part of any self-employed solopreneur like me.
The reports suggested few targets not yet fulfilled and since it was another month for the year to end, the possibility of meeting these targets seemed next to impossible.
Collecting this data with a sigh, I felt anxious and a bit desperate and was filled with lot of self-pity and within a fraction of second —
here I go …..; I was in my comparison zone,
comparing my work and life with everyone I could imagine at that given point, even including the couple who offered (ironing services) at the corner side of the road. I felt even they were making more revenues, had more footfalls and customers than me and that I really need to gear up.
The mode I was in is one of the most dreadful diseases known to mankind with no cure, and I call it the “Comparison” disorder, very similar to in symptoms of blame game a way in which we except our self, blame everyone and everything .
In this disorder we compare everyone and everything, which in itself is an absolutely non complaint to the principles of any comparative study that demands the variables or data sets to be uniform and equal.
Lost in my “self-pity” party, I heard a knock on the door and found that a cousin of mine has sent in Custard apples, I quickly grabbed the biggest one from the plate and went up to the balcony to enjoy it.
This was the view I was in, the sun shone, the silent afternoon embraced me with its warmth and the juicy naturally sweet custard apples offered the sweetness of life, most of what we all are in search of.
I kept scooping out the fleshy cream from the seeds that melted in my mouth, and I spit the seeds aside, I went inside and bought two more and the scooping, spitting went on for another few minutes, thoroughly enjoying every bit of it.
While eating, I mindfully took a detailed look at the custard apple, and was awestruck by the neatly set seeds covered with creamy flesh, sweet like a natural ice-cream, as if nature has prepared a dessert exclusively for me 🙂
I sat there offering gratitude to all the blessings I hold from a fruit available to me in abundance to access of nature and then the freedom to choose what I would do with my time. This reminder changed something inside me, there was a shift in my energy as I recall the unaware heedless life, I once had working 14 hours a day with no breaks and freedom.
I got my answer and very clearly understood what needs to be my next revenue goals.
With a huge grin, I unapologetically went for the fourth Custard apple.
If you ever find yourself slipping into the comparison disorder which is quite prevalent regardless of who we are and where we come from, the next best thing to do is to take a break, grab your favorite book, music or fruit and set yourself to your most favorite corner of your house or any place you love.
This technique of “savoring” will benefit you both in the short and long term and the more you practice it, you will find you already have everything you always wanted!
Remember the happiness we chase is not in that one particular day or event or achievement, it is in these tiny little joys of life!
Savor it!
© Mehnaz Amjad 2017-2025
Mehnaz Amjad | Coach
Hyderabad, India