How do you know if you are burned out or just tired?

A classic question that most of us struggle to find an answer to, and for those who do, they find a lot of interplay of things, which are both complex and grey. In short, it is tough to differentiate.

The person you are at home is the person you take to the office; this is the same person in those dreadful meetings, dealing with those difficult bosses and those unrealistic clients. The same person commutes back home,run errands for household chores, travels everywhere and is at the receiving end of both good and bad.

Well, how do I differentiate then?

To do so, let’s take the help of expert William Bridges through his book Transitions.

William & Susan offer us a format for transitions, which, if not handled with the required support and care, can eventually lead to burnout and even more severe consequences.

The format is as follows;

The Transition format always begins with an ending —>a neutral zone —> and a new beginning.

The context and consequences are of great importance here

Let me share an example from my work life to illustrate and explain it in more detail.

Many moons ago, when I was put on a PIP (performance improvement program), I was a young adult and an employee with a track record of numerous promotions, accolades, and achievements. However, one PIP tag was enough to break me into a million pieces, and instead of recovering, I quit and stayed stuck in my workplace trauma and my own mesh of complex emotions for several years to come.

Outcome: I was burned out and often appeared at work as a physically weak and tired employee.

The only differentiating factor was the usual external self, while the inner self was choking, which wore a heavy mask, silenced and suppressed for years.

My inner reality was very different from the outer one.

Now, let me put my case in the Transition format to explain why I was stuck and what I did not do while being in a transit state.

• We start with the Ending: the PIP tag and quitting the firm were never processed correctly. I tried to hide it, and the more I suppressed it, the emotions came back with more power and rigour. In short, I had not closed it completely. The ending never came, and I moved forward with the heavy weight of the incomplete end.
• The neutral zone (which is about resetting) and the messy middle were also never fully worked through. This was also because I never sought support in getting through this; I believed I could do it myself, and therefore ended up hanging in the middle.
• The last phase is – the New Beginning – without any proper ending of the past, and work on the messy middle, I was in a new job, role, title, organisation, with more and more money, but a deep, hollow feeling lurking inside.

I never processed any of the phases of transitions, but continued, jumping from one to another. As a result, the false hope brought opportunities but lacked fulfilment!

I was not tired; I was burned out.

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A tired self is easily refreshed with a good night’s sleep. Burnout is a telltale sign of a neglected self, shrieking and lost in the mayhem of life, desperately seeking a way out.

If you are not able to differentiate between the two? Pick a problem you may have been carrying for the past few years, run through the transition format, and let the answers surface.

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And if you need help to find your way out of the mayhem, then click here, and let’s talk.

This will be your no-cost clarity call, and we will take it from there.

Look forward to speaking with you soon.

Warmly,

Mehnaz Amjad.