I’m part of a kindness community, and I’ve joined in to teach myself this life-saving trait, which my complex grief and inner critic had eroded over the past decade of my existence.

Without a Kind Self, I was living with just this one emotion, dominating my entire being.

I was frustrated to the core!

with Self and the entire world around me.

After years of living with agitation, irritation and frustration, when my nerves gave up, and one tiny leftover part of my self mustered the courage to offer me some help in the form of kindness, I melted!

It all started when I was doing a loving kindness guided meditation, the very point when I offered kindness to myself, something inside me cracked open. I felt very tender and also very vulnerable; it was like a heavy rain in a desert, and everything changed after that.

Fast forward ten years to the present.

My life has transformed into one of blessed, calm and meaningful.

This did not happen in isolation but is a culmination of multiple things and the conscious effort of making it one, but in doing so

Kindness and Gratitude have played and continue to play a vital role.

From a frustrated soul, I’m now a mindful observer of Life who surrenders more, pauses often and reflects deeply, and firmly believes.

I’m enough, and what I have is enough.

Here’s an observation gathered last week in a few sentences with deepest gratitude.

I’m grateful to all the mini good things in my life,

From the hope of dark pregnant clouds hovering around late noon, bringing respite from the humid Sun, to the Avacados from California, and dark chocolate from Peru.

With renewed spiritual goals as the new Islamic New Year began yesterday, to the fragrance of jasmine beyond my bedroom window,

The fragrance spreads with the dull wind; pacing along, I move through my past and present, feeling nostalgic and reminiscing.

To the epiphanies and realisations from my copious journal notes, that

Life is here

is in the ordinary moments and in these little moments of joy.

Warmly,

Mehnaz Amjad