A few days ago, as I was about to reply to a Twitter handle, I saw a similar face and name below with a comment on the same Tweet.

I immediately retreated

Why?

It triggered a memory.

The story behind

As a newbie in the corporate world many moons ago, I remember this guy was my colleague and very senior to me. He worked in a different department and, at every family event, would go to lengths to showcase his love for his dear wife and kids; several years later, the same guy stalked me in some way or another, landing me in difficult, embarrassing situations.

My incapacity to counter the boundaries transgressed was due to the belief system I held about power.

A belief system about power

Here’s a brief breakdown of the belief system I had back then.

The controversial colleague was the “Powerful People.”

Experts, Knowledgeable & proficient individuals = Powerful People

Powerful People = Can do anything

Can do anything. = to my career /role/job in the present or future.

As a young, inexperienced woman, I had many fears, which were as baseless as my opinion about this guy’s power and expertise.

He could have been from the top business institutes in India. Still, regarding knowledge, expertise and being Human, I realized I surpassed him on all fronts.

Yet I could not confront him because I never fully believed in my power.

Present day today

I intend to avoid getting in touch with him at any cost.

Therefore, I chose to retreat, even if it meant to delete my tweet.

Because I did not want to be recognized by him, and my safety was way too important for me than my response or sharing of knowledge.

Safety today means = Avoiding some set of individuals who can easily transgress even the healthiest boundaries set.

Healthy Boundaries

In my case, a clear establishment of healthy boundaries could have quickly resolved my issue, but to do so, the first requirement is to understand ourselves at a deeper level to establish those healthy lines, without which one may indulge and continue to be part of pretence, hide and seek games played over and over again, in an exhaustive quest for peace and safety.

I’ve been learning to play this for the longest time, it’s one of the hardest yet I believe, through support and a consistent practice, it can make a huge difference.

So,

If you find yourself caught in a similar exhaustive web in establishing healthy boundaries across various spheres of life, especially those difficult people and relations.

I invite you to embark with me on a journey, wherein I support you, and you reestablish them moving you out of the web of confusion you find yourself caught up in.

Let’s talk >click here

(c) Mehnaz Amjad – 2017 -2024

About the Author ; Mehnaz Amjad, is a Coach and a Cognitive Behavior Practitioner

I’m on a mission to empower people with strategies and tools, they need to cope with difficult times & navigate through challenging circumstances.