During Pandemic as a lone caregiver to my father who was suffering from chronic Heart ailment, I developed annoyance at the highest level.
While my work was noble and serving one’s parents is regarded as the highest of virtue, I remained snappy and disgusted with myself.
I would also very conveniently mask my emotions and remain a dutiful child attending religiously to all duties assigned.
Deep down
I was frustrated, annoyed, disappointed and very tired of myself.
Reasons
- I was overloaded with my coaching clients across the globe seeking coaching during the lockdown
- The constant need to manage all the domains of the business value chain
- To follow a strict diet and discipline in regard to food and time for everyone including my father.
- Lack of any support due to lockdown, where none of the servants agree to work despite offering them servant quarters and higher remuneration.
- The pandemic itself – since both the parents were aged and my father with co morbidities
Outcome – was suffering from compassion fatigue towards clients and simultaneously not offering any compassion towards my own self.
Team meetings became an ordeal and client meetings a daunting task.
Then one fateful day, my vertigo triggered, and I was back in my anxious zone, my anxiety skyrocketing more from the thought how will i handle things while I cannot balance my own self.
I decided that I have to find a way out, since there was no other option in the situation I was in.
And in my search for a way out, I ended up finding a technique in my journal that I use to practice it, and with little hesitance, I thought let me try this again.
the first letter was the most difficult and surreal, especially the realization part where I realized I was being my own best friend.
I sat there and cried for good thirteen minutes, the very realization of what I’ve been through moved me profoundly and in that very heavy emotional moment I learnt the precise reason for my failures with client management leading to series of setbacks.
————————————————————————
Technique – Write a letter to yourself as your best friend.
Step 1: Imagine your Best friend is going through a very difficult time and has reached out to you for a sound counsel.
Step 2 : The difficult time is exactly what your current pressing issue is
Step 3 : Reverse the role, and write a letter to yourself as your Best friend.
What advice would you give to your Bestie going through it? write it all down.
Step 4 : Re-Read the letter to yourself and sit with the advice you have offered.
Step 5 : Pick the easiest option offered in the letter and try to implement it with an immediate effect.
I’ve been writing this letter to myself as my best friend in the past several years on many occasions that required me to handle myself the way I do it for my best friend, and I must share the newfound kindness has only brought safety and peace of mind.
————————————————————————-
So,
If you are find yourself
- Struggling with your performance at work
- Your prodcutivity has dipped
- You have become snappy, judgmental and irritated with a hidden piled up emotions weighing heavily on you.
Try this technique -Write a Letter to your Best Friend.
You may need to write this letter several times to experience and cultivate self-compassion, it only gets better with practice.
& if you want to learn more, as to how I can help you rebound with Resilience, click here.
***************************************************************
(c)Mehnaz Amjad 2017-2024
About the Author ; Mehnaz Amjad, is a Coach & a Mentor.
I’m on a mission to empower people with strategies and tools, they need to cope with difficult times & navigate through challenging circumstances.