It was a packed auditorium and the quarterly rewards were being announced , I was running late for the occasion and when I finally found a seat ,sat down to catch a breath when I could hear a long list of praises were echoing in the auditorium and I was wondering who is this someone special and then to my surprise everyone around me was looking at me, I stood wondering what’s wrong with me today ?

It turns out the reward recipient was none other than me!

I was not surprised but shocked, shocked is more appropriate description of my feelings for being recognized and rewarded, because deep down I never believed I could ever be eligible for such coveted rewards.

This “Self-Doubt” syndrome stems from my childhood, and I have been living it almost all my adult life up-till age of 41 when I finally learnt the right approach to counter it.

But before that for a very long period of time, I always firmly believe It was just mere fluke or lady luck shining on me and totally negated my work.

I also undermined my creativity and contribution to the most complex and ambiguous projects to whom I gave shape, provided method to madness that surrounded it and build it up from the scratch.

Yet I never truly believed that “I deserved it ” or that “I’m good enough” for it.

Today I cannot change the wheels of time, so those special moments of rewards and recognition are long past gone, what left is a sense of deep regret and a commitment to never again be so cruel to myself, depriving of my own self the honor, the appreciation and the respect I truly deserved.

Being humble and modest is one thing but depriving oneself of the respect and worth one holds and deserves, is one of the cruelest things we could do to ourselves.

It took me the longest time before people would honor, respect me or consider my worth, because unless I never held myself in this space, I found nobody else would.

So, before I close, I want to ask you;

• How do you treat yourself when you are complimented or being rewarded for your efforts?
• What do you say to yourself, if your rewarded for coveted projects?
• What makes you hold yourself back from the rewards awaiting you?

If like me you are undermining your immense potential and need help to give yourself the permission to become your best version, here are some of the eBooks for help, click here, and if you are interested in learning more and seek support connect here.

© Mehnaz Amjad 2017-2025

Mehnaz Amjad | Coach
Hyderabad, India

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