• James has just returned from a weekend, but is still not clear or happy with his trip.
• Daniel is researching every day, trying to find out the healthy foods and alternatives available in vegan food.
• Smith is feeling low and completely lost after his business plan failed to meet its goals and objectives!
• Jane feels a lot of resentment towards her younger sibling after a year-long legal struggle over inheritance.
• As a single dad, Alfred is trying to make peace with his ever-demanding kids, seeking constant attention energy and money. 
• Lucy just found out that her current company and boss are worse than the former ones, who she left a year ago in search of better avenues and opportunities.
• Maria is in need of clarity, finding herself way too confused with decisions that she thought she had taken with a lot of contemplation and deliberation.  
• Examples like these and much more, but if you pay attention and observe, you will find a unique pattern that emerges from these examples, which are about “Self”, even though all cases in these examples are distinct individuals, BUT with a common problem that holds its root in the “Self”.

So, what is Self Care all about?

“Self-care is a process to identify one’s “Self” with its connection to the world within(inner self) and outside (external world), and then based on the evaluation, work on the gaps identified, towards a better version of oneself.” -____ Mehnaz Amjad

It operates on the following principle :

1. Being aware of oneself at an optimal level (holding a basic understanding of oneself)

2. It helps to identify the gaps within oneself also evaluating how much does it sync with the inner and external world.

3. It is not only a process to identify and explore gaps ,but also demands commitment to making positive changes to overcome the gaps or limitations identified through self-evaluation.

The first step towards Personal Growth and development begins with “Self Care” unless you know where the care within self is needed, one can never attain the level of growth and development. Awareness is the key!

Once you start to exercise”Self Care” you will be both intrigued and surprised, to learn that any change we intend to bring about within or outside or in any aspect of life, everything goes back to the “Self” which is the central point. Operating on the same principle, when you make a change at the centre, all other domains of life are impacted due to their interconnectedness, so a change in one impacts the other and vice versa. Self-care thus helps not only in identifying what to change but also points towards where change is required.

Self, just like our physical growth, is a continuous process that continues to evolve with age and the phase of life we are in.  Both the frequency and results of self-care may vary and are mostly dominated by the age and phase of life. As an example, a middle-aged working woman’s need for self-care will be completely different from another middle-aged woman of the same age group, but who is single with adopted children and parents as dependents. The process of self-care through the results assists us in discovering where the gaps lie and, most importantly, makes us understand what needs focus and attention at a particular given point or phase of life.

Self-care is therefore required to be carried out at regular intervals and should be an integral part of our lifelong journey.

So, how do you take care of yourself?

Though there are many ways of doing so, you could try the following:

1. The basic method is: to use the diagram given above to evaluate the different domains of life, and its connection to your “Self” , the evaluation will help identify how one is progressing in each of them, if there are gaps, and what needs focus.

Example: Maria evaluated her life using the diagram and found Health to be the most neglected part of her self, which was in need of immediate care.

2. The advanced method: the diagram given above is a representation of the most common Life domains; you could also add subdomains to each of them to evaluate yourself at a deeper level.

Example: Maria evaluating her health by further subdividing the domain of Health into Physical Health, Mental Health and Emotional Health

3. The expert method is to connect with a Life Coach who could help you realise your potential and assist you in creating goals and planning for self-care.

 

Conclusion: Self Care is one of the most neglected aspects of our life, because it was often misunderstood as being (selfish) or (self-centered), however, the recent research on the emerging issues, problems in life, impacting the overall well being of people,societies and communities at large,most of the solutions recommended and suggested point towards self care that begins at the micro level with individual i,e,”Self”.

Until next time…..

Best Regards, Mehnaz Amjad(Life Coach)