A distant cousin was on a short trip to India for fifteen days after a decade, and someone very wise in the family suggested holding a gathering at a hotel instead of visiting each house.

Most of our relatives turned up, some even from a remote town in Karnataka.

Amidst the gathering of many, two of my aunts were into a silent argument yet too aggressive to be considered a conversation.
I had to intervene several times to tone down the heated atmosphere.

Later on, as I reflected on my conversation and experience, I was surprised that I was referring to two well-educated, mature individuals in the family known for all good reasons.
But what brought them to loggerheads in a family gathering, and to the extent that they could not contain their blocked emotions as if they were waiting for an opportune time to resent the past kept me buried in understanding resilience and resentments and how intertwined the feeling and behavior is?

Sharing their part of the story will be beyond this post, but I want to let you know that they both share a conflicted past and hold deep resentments.

How Resentment works?

Resentment means – anger, displeasure, or indignation.

It can be the biggest hindrance to being resilient because, when we are resentful, we tend to hold on to things, refuse to let go and constantly stay in the vicious circle of thoughts – constantly justifying our victimhood.

My aunts were caught up in a similar state of repressed emotions in their minds, which, when triggered, a simple conversation within a fraction of seconds turned into cold comments, all references to the past for which none seems to have forgiven the other.

Resilience as a metaphor of a plant

To build Resilience, we need to operate from an open space to accept and forgive, which is not only conditional but imperative.

If “Resiliency” is a plant you intend to grow, resentment will be those weeds that the soil needs to be clean of, making the soil conducive for the plant to grow.

Heal your resentment through a guided meditation

Here is a

A guided meditation that can help you heal from being resentful.

If you are wondering if I had shared this meditation with my aunts, I would like to inform you that though well-educated and aware, they belong to individuals who refuse to commit to healing.

Resilience Commitment

Building Resilience calls for commitment.
And a willingness to look deep within through the tools of awareness and not stop relooking at our faulty selves!

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

Carl Jung

(c) Mehnaz Amjad – 2017 -2024

About the Author ; Mehnaz Amjad, is a Coach and a Cognitive Behavior Practitioner

I’m on a mission to empower people with strategies and tools, they need to cope with difficult times & navigate through challenging circumstances.