An irritable soul is often carrying more than it shows.
I lived for more than five years, which was almost half of a decade, concerned for my ailing father as his caregiver. From his diet to medical checkups to even alternative medical support like acupressure, Yoga, Breath work, to physiotherapy, you name it, and I was part of it alongside my father, assisting him in each sphere.
If morning was filled with it, by noon, I would hop on back-to-back calls with clients with their share of trauma, stress and burnout stories.
It was a life not divided by time but by tasks, each with its own demand, sometimes leaving no room to even scratch an itch on my nose.
While it was easy in the beginning to manage and assign, I guess novelty does that, within a few months, the cracks started to show up.
I slipped into an irritable persona, reacting to small things, sometimes blasting my poor driver with my rage and other times my mother and domestic help in a constant argument, always ending with “You people just don’t understand and have no logic”.
One afternoon
, when I was working on a podcast, listening to my own voice, I could sense and hear, and also feel, the sickening haste lingering inside it.
I stopped!
I wondered and probed further to understand what was underlying this haste.
I had a million reasons at my disposal to justify, but my work taught me something beyond them, indicating a state of mind deeply concerned for my father and his growing sickness, silently whispering the truth to me.
He won’t be here for long!
I gathered the courage to not only write it but also say it out loud to myself, so that I stop pretending about my search for logic and sit with my truth.
Everything changed that afternoon; the shift was deep and transformational.
Concern turned into irritation.
Our concerns turn into irritation when the mind registers helplessness and finds, however hard we might try, things beyond our control, a kind of reality that, when it dawns, humbles you but also leaves you emotionally broken.
Irritability, which is often a symptom and not a standalone emotion, is often misunderstood.
So,
If you find yourself constantly irritable and equally concerned, I’m sure there are some truths awaiting your permission, beneath the surface, refusing to leave you unless you acknowledge them and give them the attention they seek.
While the whole idea of (being concerned) is to protect and safeguard, the approach demands the exact opposite: to let go and not hold on or cling to control.
If you are equally enmeshed between concerns and irritability, struggling to find your truth and need another human to assist you. First, find it, acknowledge it, and accept it. Click here and let’s talk
Warmly,
Mehnaz Amjad
Visit Website | Book Free Consult | Download free tool