Nine years ago, sitting with my Toleration List was an eye-opener for me, for the first time I could see it clearly and give it a name to the heavy invisible weight of things I carried on my tender shoulders.

The work was a doorway to my first attempt at establishing healthy boundaries, which never existed before, and I dissolved inside the mayhem of it.

That list changed the direction of my life. And it can do the same for you.

In our last two series, having worked on our irritation and explored what lies beneath our frustrated state of mind, let’s explore “Tolerance,” another emotional state in practice that deserves attention.

My intention here is to assist you in taking a deeper dive into your world of tolerations, because most of your deep selves, your values (what matters to you most) and answers to those nagging questions are hidden behind your tolerations.

Let me begin by asking you a question:

What are you tolerating? What’s the first thing that came to mind?

Begin by taking 3 deep breaths, set a timer for 15 minutes and list it down.

Once you are ready with your list, read it and return to it for a detailed read the next day.

Your list is a valuable source of information on all the various spheres of your life that are silently in protest and in need of your attention.

Treat your response (Toleration List) like an annual calendar before you, with all key events and festivals listed, along with neatly arranged days, dates, and weeks. One glance is enough; you know what’s ahead and can plan accordingly.

Similarly, what you’re tolerating will help us plan and move ahead.

On what and how, I shall explain in our next edition, using a cognitive restructuring tool to help you understand your (Toleration List) in depth and how it helps you prepare better in an uncertain world.

Warmly,

Mehnaz Amjad

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